Concise Writing

To make your writing lively, cut all unneeded words.

1. Do not repeat a word unless you need it again for clarity or emphasis.

When I was a child, my favorite relatives were the relatives who treated me like a grownup.

2. Avoid redundancy--using two or more words that mean essentially the same thing.

The hero begins to behave strangely and in odd ways following his tryst with a witch he meets secretly at midnight.

3. In general, avoid starting sentences with There is, There are, or There were:

There are many ways in which we can classify houses.

EDITED: We can classify houses many ways.

There was a long line of old shops on Main Street.

EDITED: Old shops lined Main Street.

4. Avoid cluttering sentences with nouns.

The reason for George’s refusal to be a member of the secret society was his dislike of its elitism.

EDITED: George refused to be a member of the elitist secret society.

5. Whenever possible, remove adjective clauses like who are, which was, and that were:

The antique dealer who is on Allen Street has a pair of silver candlesticks that were designed by Paul Revere.

EDITED: The antique dealer on Allen Street has a pair of silver candlesticks designed by Paul Revere.

6. Replace prepositional phrases with single adjectives or adverbs:

She regarded me in a stern way.

EDITED: She regarded me sternly.

Many of the riders were boys with skinny frames and bold spirits.

EDITED: Many of the riders were skinny, bold-spirited boys.

7. Remove to be whenever possible:

Vince Lombardi was considered to be an excellent football coach.

EDITED: Vince Lombardi was considerd an excellent football coach.

Many students find the lectures to be stimulating.

EDITED: Many students find the lectures stimulating.

8. When possible, avoid the fact that:

The fact that the crowd was unruly annoyed the musicians.

EDITED: The unruly crowd annoyed the musicians.

9. Avoid verbal detours:

It is essential that there be no new construction of houses in the area designated as the sanctuary for wildlife.

EDITED: No new houses should be built in the wildlife sanctuary.

This page courtesy of Dr. Betty Hart of the USI English Department.

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	There are many ways in which we can classify houses.
	EDITED: We can classify houses many ways.
	There was a long line of old shops on Main Street.
	EDITED: Old shops lined Main Street.

	The reason for George’s refusal to be a member of the secret society was his dislike of its elitism.
	EDITED: George refused to be a member of the elitist secret society.

	The antique dealer who is on Allen Street has a pair of silver candlesticks that were designed by Paul Revere.
	EDITED: The antique dealer on Allen Street has a pair of silver candlesticks designed by Paul Revere.

	She regarded me in a stern way.
	EDITED: She regarded me sternly.
	Many of the riders were boys with skinny frames and bold spirits.
	EDITED: Many of the riders were skinny, bold-spirited boys.

	Vince Lombardi was considered to be an excellent football coach.
	EDITED: Vince Lombardi was considerd an excellent football coach.
	Many students find the lectures to be stimulating.
	EDITED: Many students find the lectures stimulating.

	The fact that the crowd was unruly annoyed the musicians.
	EDITED: The unruly crowd annoyed the musicians.

	It is essential that there be no new construction of houses in the area designated as the sanctuary for wildlife.
	EDITED: No new houses should be built in the wildlife sanctuary.