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By the end of this meeting the student will be able to describe strategies of effective communication for particularly difficult social situations.

Potential Pre-Meeting Opportunity

Take this online test to help understand how you typically behave during a conflict.

Be ready to talk about your results, including:

  • Do you think the results are accurate? Is there another style you feel you align with more closely?
  • What was a time in your life when you responded to a conflict in this way?
  • Why might your results be a strength? Why might they be a weakness?


Share reflections about the prework. Think about a situation in your life when you responded to a conflict in this way.

  • How did things go?
  • Why is the conflict style sometimes an advantage?
  • When might it be a disadvantage?

A Framework for Difficult Conversations

  • The "What Happened" Conversation
    • Each of us sees the world differently. It is important to start with that the story is from both perspectives.
    • Difficult conversations are rarely about the facts, but more about the perception of what happened.
  • The "Feelings" Conversation
    • Difficult conversations are always about feelings, so it's important to talk about these, though it can be hard.
    • First, take the time to understand how you are feeling before having a conversation.
    • During the conversation, acknowledge feelings before moving on to problem-solving.
  • The "Identity" Conversation
    • This conversation starts with self-reflection. As yourself, what am I saying to myself about me?
    • With all difficult conversations, something about the situation reflects a piece of your identity.


Reflect on today’s meeting. Are there any lingering questions?

Remember, not all difficult conversations will end perfectly, and if conflicts arise that you can’t find a solution to, there are many people who can help at school. Who are some of these people?