White Bath
by Phillip B. Williams
Because I was dishonest with my request,
instead of love I was sent a lure, and look
at what lurks in the low—his curt face, so sure
he’s unsure, so fallen he rises against it
to our detriment. My dreams were full
of lures: Waving stingers, imagined cities that loved me
vulgarly, a life of touching skin and the warmth
demanding endless want. I remember hugging
his flinching body, and the streetlight flickering
a ghosting warning. One time too many,
a man wanted me so bad he stalked my dreams
but wouldn’t return my calls. Broken-
hearted, I went to porcelain-hugged water
to drown my grievance. I listened to the running
faucet flood my hollow life, the liquid
blessed into gasp and applause. Who or what
waited for me in the mason jar filled with holy
water, Florida water, rose petals pale
as sympathy? Ground eggshell fogged
my future. The water’s steam rose like hands
to obscure the mirror I saw less and less
of myself in. Brokenness led me to this perfume
and sweetness: Confused, upended, the contents
pooled, dispersed, then floated around
my submerged grief. I found rose petals
had settled at my feet. A garden can grow
even here? My voice surprised me
as it bellowed in this sudden sanctuary.
Walk with me Lord, I sang and placed
those petals that were once my steps
over my eyes to see the path, submerging
my body beneath the bone-tint
water to breathe for the first time.
.
.
Phillip B. Williams is a Chicago, Illinois, native. He is the author of Thief in the Interior, which won the Kate Tufts Discovery Award and a Lambda Literary Award, and Mutiny, which was a finalist for the PEN/Voelcker Award for Poetry Collection and won a 2022 American Book Award. Williams also received a Whiting Award and fellowships from the Radcliffe Institute for Advanced Study at Harvard University and the National Endowment for the Arts. His debut novel, Ours, won the Prix du Premier Roman Étranger in France and was a finalist for the James Tait Black Prize (UK). He is a professor of creative writing at Rice University and a member of the founding faculty for the Randolph College low-residency MFA program in creative writing.